Short Story - Valerie

Valerie desperately tried to choke back the lump in her throat. She could feel her face growing warm and her eyes were beginning to sting. She managed to stammer "Thank you" to the judges as she bowed her head and shuffled out with her shoulders slumped. Outside the studio, she leaned against the wall and took a gulp of air. She breathed slowly, to calm her racing heartbeat.

She thought about the audition and what the judges said. They had slated her performance without mercy. At the end, the casting director told her that she was too tall and her face was "not quite right" for the role. She imagined that she would have to repeat those words to her agent and it pained her all the more."I'm so sorry, I didn't get the part," she would say, and he would express his disappointment like he always did. She had failed three auditions in the last month alone. He was patient enough, but had high hopes for this part. "I've found you a part with your name written on it" he had said cheerfully. She felt the tears rolling down her cheeks and hunted in her bag for tissues. She decided to go and see her agent now before he called her, eager to hear some good news.

She wiped her eyes and ignored the curious glances of passers-by, as she walked towards the bus stop. A bus arrived shortly and she got on it, walking to the back. She slumped into a corner and rested her head against the window."What am I doing wrong in my auditions?" she thought. Maybe the judges just didn't like her. Maybe she was not a good actress after all.

"But I want to be an actress, that' what I know how to do", she said to herself. Ever since she could remember, she had dreamt of becoming a famous actress. When she was a little girl, she used to amuse and entertain her parents and their guests, acting little plays. She loved watching movies, memorising her favourite lines and imitating the actors later when no one was looking. In school, she had been an active member of the Drama club and acted in every talent show or drama the club put on. She remembered that both her drama teachers had been impressed with her talent. One of them even promised her "a brilliant career in acting" if she worked hard and stayed focused.

The bus arrived at her stop, jolting her out of her thoughts. She got off, crossed the road and started walking slowly. Then she heard quick footsteps behind her and moved out of the way to allow whoever it was to walk past. But the footsteps seemed to stop behind her and she was startled when a female voice said, "Excuse me?"

Valerie turned around and stepped back when she saw the lady standing in front of her, carrying a folder and a huge handbag. She was fashionably dressed and she looked polished and confident, which only made Valerie feel like shrinking away from her.

"Hello, my name is Marie", the lady said brightly. "I'm a scout for Storm"
"Wha- I'm sorry?" Valerie stammered.
"Storm, the biggest modelling agency in the UK" Marie explained.
Valerie blinked in confusion, wondering if she was imagining things.
Marie was still talking. "We are holding a search to find new models for our new campaign". She stepped closer to Valerie. "I think you are perfect for us, you've got a striking face and a graceful walk"
Valerie was stunned. The only thing she could say was "Oh?"
"Definitely" Marie said. "Have you ever considered modelling? You've got the figure and the look"
"Em... really?"
"Sure" Marie said breezily. She fished a card from her handbag and handed it to Valerie. "I would love it if you gave me a call tomorrow". And with that she walked off in her high heels.

Valerie stood stunned for a moment, gasping and staring at Marie as she disappeared. Then she looked at the card in her had. Slowly the realisation sank in that a model scout had just spotted her! After all the rejections in the last three months, she was finally picked for something! She wanted to scream with pure elation and excitement. She found her mobile phone and made a quick call to her mum as she ran to her agent's office.

On Life: Death and After

Today I am reminded just how unpredictable this life is. Most of us hope and expect that we would live long enough to see our children and grandchildren. We think we can always count on there being another day called 'tomorrow'. But who really knows how long we are here for? Who can estimate how much time we've got left to spend on earth?

Case in point: Mr X woke up this morning, he had breakfast, said goodbye to his wife and kids, went to work as normal, and suddenly his wife gets a phone call, "Mrs X? I'm afraid your husband has been involved in a fatal accident...." and things never remain the same. Even if it is not an accident, it could be an illness. Right now I can mention two people who have been battling cancer and the doctors have told them that there is nothing more they can do.

Some weeks ago I read a book called "The Shock of Your Life" by Adrian Holloway, about three teenagers who died in an accident. The story follows each of them on an imaginary journey of what happens to them after they are dead. Reading this book made me think about death in a different way. When somebody dies, we grieve, we make preparations for a funeral, we bury them, pray that they rest in peace and carry on with our lives. But what happens to the dead person? The book attempts to cover some of these questions and you can read more on their website.

As a Christian, I believe that death is not the end, it is a separation from earth and current relationships, but there's more. I believe that Jesus Christ conquered death on the cross, and I have accepted Him into my life, then I am sure that after I die, I will see Him again. I will go to heaven and live with Him there for eternity. It doesn't mean that the prospect of death is not scary but I have this confidence that I have a far more wonderful experience after I leave earth.

Being conscious of what happens when I die means I am now more aware of how I live. If this world is all there is to life, then we can do whatever we like, live our lives without any obligations to anybody, satisfy ourselves with all the pleasures we can think of, etc. But if I know that my choices and actions here on earth will determine where I spend eternity, then it's up to me to ensure that I live right, according to God's principles. And I am ready to face Him, even if my life ends today.

So if I asked you: where would you be after you die, what would your answer be?

Poem - Time is Ticking

We seem to think that time stands still

Because we hardly notice when it passes

We sometimes forget that every minute counts

Even the minutes spent busying ourselves doing nothing

We only notice time in huge leaps –

In days, months and years

We overlook the fact that those days, months, years

Are made up of those seconds and minutes

That ticked by when we were not looking

On Life: More Lessons

I've learnt to appreciate the peace of mind that comes from God.

I've learnt that other people deserve to be forgiven when they upset me.

I've learnt not to let the sun go down on my anger.

I've learnt that what matters is not really my comfort, but what I have been called to do.

I've learnt that I need to let go of my pride.

I've learnt that I need to be more patient.

I've learnt that I cannot expect to live without God's strength.

I've learnt that money is good, but it should not be abused.

I've learnt that I am inherently selfish and I need God to help me deal with that.

I've learn that I can't or shouldn't even try to hide from God.

I've learnt that even when I don't understand the situations I find myself, God is still in control.

I've learnt that I need God's grace to carry out the tasks ahead of me.

I've learnt that I have been called to serve others, not the other way round.

I've learnt that God is never late, He's always on time.

I've learnt again, that God is faithful even when I'm not.

I've learnt that God is absolutely crazy about me!

On Life: 10 Things About Me

Overwhelmed tagged me in this meme, so I thought I should put up this post:

So here are 10 things about me. I don't think I am particularly weird. Even if you think I am weird, I'll call it being special. He he he.

1) I process information for days and weeks. For example, I could watch a movie on Monday, and still be analysing every scene a week later. Or I could read a book and still be thinking of an alternative ending to the story 2 months after I read it. Or ruminating over some gist my friend told me a week later.

2) I'm such a keeper. I hold on to emails, letters, text messages and birthday cards for as long as possible. I still have letters my friends wrote to me when we were in secondary school. And I still have my 13th birthday cards. And my diaries from 1998. Hubby recently tried to get me to throw some things away but I wasn't having it.

3) It just dawned on me recently that the world existed long before I was born. I know that sounds daft, but it was such a profound revelation to me.

4) I would rather spend my money on experiences like travelling, enjoying good food and wine, going to see plays and shows, visiting museums and art galleries, having massages, etc than buying stuff. I think life is for living to the fullest, not for accumulating material things that only depreciate.

5) But if I must spend money on buying things for myself, well........ I prefer to spend my money on expensive creams, lotions, potions and make up. Most of my friends prefer to spend money on clothes, shoes and accesories. I get bored with clothes easily. After all, fashion changes every season.

6) I like laughing. People who know me say I laugh a lot. I can't help it, maybe I just find lots of things funny.

7) I can hear a song twice and learn all the lyrics off by heart. Sometimes this is good, because my family and friends are soooo impressed when I know the latest songs off by heart already. Sometimes it is annoying because I pick up songs that I don't even want to.

8) I was a virgin until my wedding night. Not because I didn't have any offers (lol), but I made a conscious decision to wait when I was 13. It was hard, but sooo worth it!

9) I try to avoid getting addicted to anything. When I realise I have started liking something too much, I stop doing it immediately. This applies to everything except chocolates.

10) Following on from point 9 above... I have a terrible sweet tooth. But I don't like some things. I don't like biscuits, cookies, and things like that. But things like ice-cream, chocolates, yoghurt hmmmm.... Never put me and cake in the same room.

Hey this was fun! Maybe I'll do it again somethime....

On Life: Trip to Ghana

I finally got round to writing this post, after procrastinating for weeks. It's been sitting around in my drafts for a while, but I must warn you though, it's quite a long post.

When my dad suggested to my sisters and I that we should visit Ghana during our holidays, we were all really excited and up for it. I thought it was a great idea because I hadn’t visited any other African country before, and it would give me a chance to meet up with my friend from uni, who was also home in Accra for the Christmas break. Initially, I thought we were going to fly, but my dad suggested we should take the car instead. After some persuasion, I thought it would be fun. The whole journey took us about 12 hours – going from Lagos to Accra, and then another couple of hours to get to Elmina, a historical town along the coast. We stayed in Elmina for two nights and then spent another night in Accra.

Our journey began early in the morning at 7.00am. We wanted to set out of Lagos early so that we could get to Ghana before night. Our first stop was at a petrol station to fill our tank to the brim, then we headed towards Badagry. It took us about two hours to get to Seme, which is the border between Nigeria and Benin Republic. The border was bustling with people, as travellers mingled with traders and hawkers. There was also a brisk trade in currency exchange going on, as people needed different currencies to trade between borders. Crossing the border was relatively smooth. We had to get some documents to take the car out of the country, then customs officials asked to check our luggage and made a few other checks and within thirty minutes, we passed through “no man’s land” (which is the small space between the two official borders) and crossed into Benin Republic.

It was my first time entering another African country and I was curious so I paid attention as the car drove into Cotonou. The first thing I noticed was that there didn’t seem to be as many flashy cars on the road in Benin, compared with Lagos. All the cars we saw were small or moderate cars. We saw the usual mobile phone networks – Glo, MTN and the like – had a big presence in Benin too, with recharge cards sold at road sides. We were surprised when we saw ladies riding bikes! But our driver explained that in Benin, bikes are not just for public transport, people also used motorbikes as their means of private transportation.

The public riders wear a visibility vest to distinguish them from private riders. They also have a lane for bikes on their roads which is really useful, so they don’t run into the path of cars, like the riders do in Lagos. Apart from that, the only other notable difference was the French language. I could take a photo in Cotonou and if you didn’t know, you would not be able to tell that I was outside Nigeria.

We journeyed on, passing through Cotonou and driving towards the other side of the country. We passed a number of small towns and villages on the way. Our journey through Benin was relatively uneventful, we ate snacks we bought at the border and watched the countryside as we drove by. The next border we had to cross was the Benin-Togo border. Again, we had to go through the documentation checks, the driver had to fill out paperwork for the car and so on. While we were waiting, I started to take photos, but I was told that it was illegal to take photos at the border and if an official saw me, my camera would be seized! I promptly put my camera and snap-happy finger away until we had crossed into Togo. Here are some photos I managed to take:
Togo is quite a small country and it took us less than an hour to get across it. We drove mostly along the coastline and we could see the Atlantic ocean and the nice beaches.



We soon got to the Togo-Ghana border and again had to go through a time-consuming process of getting paperwork for the car, then customs checked our luggage again. Eventually we were clear to go and we got into the border town of Aflao. The road was a bit rough for a few miles but it was under constriction so we soon left the bad bit behind and enjoyed a smooth ride into Accra. We passed by several police and customs check points on the way, checking that we had the right documentations, and checking our luggage time and time again. I have to say though, that I thought the police in Ghana had a friendly attitude that Nigerian ones don’t have!

We took a short break before we entered into Accra, stopping at a filling station to stretch our feet and buy a few snacks from the small supermarket. My sister had an MTN sim card, and we had been told it would work in Ghana so we had loaded it with enough credit before we left home. We were glad and surprised to realise that it cost less to call Nigeria from Ghana, than making calls within Nigeria!

Around 7pm we got into Accra, just before it started getting dark. We drove past Accra Mall (the equivalent of Palms Mall in Lagos), the Presidential residence, a busy market (I can’t remember the name) and a few other places of interest. I noticed that the traffic was orderly, the streets of Accra were very clean, all the traffic lights worked, and there were very few bikes on the roads. We didn’t stop because we still had a journey of almost 130 kilometres to cover before we get to Elmina. Some photos of Accra:

We arrived at Elmina around 9pm, by this time it was already dark so we couldn't see much of the coastal town. We went straight to our hotel, where we checked in. We were given the family suite which was really nice. We all had a shower and ordered dinner from the restaurant. The menu was good – we had fried rice with a really nice chicken and vegetable stew, as well as beans and fried plantain. After dinner, my sisters and I started watching a Nollywood movie but before long, we turned it off and went to bed.

The next morning, we got up bright and early and had breakfast in a nice chalet by the beach, which was part of the resort we were staying in. Some photos of the resort:

We left the resort with my dad’s friend who is a tour operator, to see the main attraction in this part of Ghana which is Elmina Castle. It’s one of the many forts built by the Portuguese when they first came to Africa to establish trade links. But in the 17th century it became a depot for the transatlantic slave trade and its dungeons housed many slaves captured from all over West Africa to be shipped to the Americas. (You can read more about the castle and it's history here).

We were taken round the castle by a tour guide. The tour included a history of the castle and its links with the slave trade. It was a very informative experience for me personally because although I had heard a lot about the slave trade, seeing the castle and images in the museum really brought it to life. It seemed almost impossible to believe that such things actually happened but the evidence was right there for us to see.

After the tour at Elmina, we went to the museum to see some of the items and exhibits of the town and the slave trade era. We left Elmina Castle, and took a short drive to Cape Coast to see Cape Coast Castle too. This castle was also purpose built for the slave trade and one fact that the tour guide pointed out to us was that the castle had dungeons for male slaves on one level and a church right above it! In those days, the slave masters still attended church services and called themselves Christians. I was wondering what they did to silence their conscience and perpetuate such wicked acts against their fellow human beings. I spent quite a long time in the museum at Cape Coast castle digesting a lot of information about the slave trade and its impact on Africa and history. There was a lot more information and artifacts at Cape Coast than Elmina Castle, but if anyone is interested in the history, I would recommend a tour of both. Here are some pics I took at Cape Coast:

I won't bore you with all the other grisly details that I saw and heard about during the tour of both castles, but its a trip I would recommend to everyone who wants to know more about Black history. At the end of that day, my sister mentioned that it made her appreciate the presidency of Barack Obama even more.
The rest of our holiday went well, the next day we visited Fort St. Jago before we left Elmina and went to Accra. We had fun in Accra, hanging out with two of our friends who took us to lunch, a short tour of the city and chilled out in a nice bar afterwards. By the time we got back to our hotel it was very late. And because we had to get up early in the morning, we decided to call it a night.
The next morning, we packed our stuff into the car and began the long drive back to Lagos. In all, it was a lovely experience and I would definitely visit Ghana again, but next time I'll fly!

On This Day....

... I watched, along with millions of people around the world as Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America.

I was glued to CNN all day, from about five hours before the inauguration was due to begin. I watched as the crowds gathered and the mood was jubilant, people were talking about witnessing a historic moment, the CNN reporters were saying they had never seen anything like it, Americans from all over the country, all colours, all ages, rich and poor had come to see their new president take the oath of office. Several people had also come from all over the world - from the UK, Europe, even as far as Australia and the Middle East.

I agree it has been a really great day in history. Obama has made history. For generations to come, thousands of school children will read about him in their history books. College students will research his campaign and quote his speeches in essays. He will be remembered as the first African American to take the position of President of the United States. People will point to him and say "I can achieve the impossible".

For now, we wait and see how his administration will unfold. Personally, I don't envy him one bit. The weight of expectations on his shoulders is immense. He is carrying the hopes of his country and far beyond. He will be scrutinised and criticised at every turn. Already people are saying they were disappointed with his inaugural speech. No doubt he is a strong leader, but at the end of the day, he can't please everyone so some people will be disappointed. I'm not an American, but even I am crossing my fingers for him, willing him to succeed and exceed the expectations of the American people. Tonight the party continues, but tomorrow, Obama and his team will have to roll up their sleeves and get to work, delivering on all those promises he made. But I can bet that the next four years will be anything but dull.

In all this, commentators are saying Obama won because he was able to capture the hearts and minds of the younger generation. He was able to inspire people to trust him for the change they desperately wanted. I'm praying that such a leader will rise in Nigeria too. Obama has taught us that we can expect a whole lot more from our leaders. We should now see that we need leaders who can inspire a whole nation. We need leaders that we can believe in. We need leaders to change the old ways of doing things. And we need leaders who will lead with the interests of their followers at heart. God help us...

So as a new day dawns for the world, I say to everyone witnessing it - congrats! Hope we all take some lessons from these events, from the man and from the moment.

My Ideal World

Ideal World

A world without suffering.

A world without pain.

A world without guilt.

A world without war.

A world without hunger.

This would be my ideal world.

A world without greed.

A world without selfishness.

A world without fear.

A world without hate.

A world without strife.

This would be my ideal world.

A world without crime.

A world without tears.

A world without sorrow.

A world without disappointment.

A world without sickness.

A world without prejudice.

This would be my ideal world.

A world without jealousy.

A world without divorce.

A world without lust.

A world without poverty.

A world without unforgiveness.

This would be my ideal world.

A world without famine.

A world without drought.

A world without conflict.

A world without division.

A world without disasters.

This would be my ideal world.

A world with peace.

A world with love.

A world with joy.

A world with laughter.

A world with honesty.

A world with acceptance.

A world with forgiveness.

This would be my ideal world.

(Oh and one more thing. A world without taxes would be my ideal world!)

The Wilderness Experience

I've been MIA from blogville a bit in the last few weeks. Usual reasons would be because I've been busy. But it would be untrue for me to claim that. In fact I've just had my least productive month ever. It's a long story and I don't even know if everything really makes sense to me at the moment.

Has anyone ever had a "wilderness experience"? Have you ever felt so disappointed and disillusioned with yourself and with God? Have you ever gotten tired of the Christian race? Do you feel sometimes like you are losing your faith and God seems far away? I have been feeling like that for some time. Towards the end of September, I hit a brick wall in some areas of my life. At first I was angry with God for a really annoying weekend that hubby and I had. Then everything went downhill from there. The anger slowly disappeared but was replaced by a feeling of gloom that nothing could shake. It felt like there was a huge dark cloud hanging over my head. Probably because by that time I was so far away from God that I couldn't even function properly.

So of course what happened next? I developed a severe case of writer's block and my brain went into meltdown. I lost the motivation to do most things I usually enjoy, even reading a good book. I felt like I couldn't do anything useful with myself. I couldn't pray and I couldn't write. When I wrote that "Totally Random" post, I was trying to force myself to do something I normally enjoy but it wasn't the same. So I just scrambled the words together and gave up. I began to operate on auto-pilot because it was like something had sucked out all my joy and enthusiasm for life. The funny thing was that all this was an internal battle and I seemed perfectly fine on the outside. Even when I was in church I would sing, clap, smile and do everything else, but inside I felt like a fraud.

About ten days ago, I actually started to get tired and fed up with feeling this way. In church last Sunday, the speaker said that sometimes he too got tired of the Christian race and felt like he had no strength to go on. I totally understood what he meant and I hoped that I would finally regain some hope, faith and strength. During the week I told a good friend of mine how I had been feeling. She really encouraged me with her words:

Our Lord is so loving that He won't let you go. He is faithful and even though it looks like nothing seems to be working out, there is no question He loves us. Keep reminding yourself that. Lord knows we may go through times like this and ...... He never forgets that we are human, we grow tired, weary and frustrated with issues.
Gradually I was able to draw some hope and strength from her and finally I was able to get on my knees again and talk to my heavenly Father. I actually read my bible and devotional again after ignoring them for more than a month. One of the readings even said that when God brings you out of a wilderness experience, it's because He is preparing you for the next level. I really hope so! I'm glad to report that I'm feeling much better now. Actually the fact that I'm able to type this is a good sign. Last week I couldn't have strung words together that made sense.

I'm still not sure what God is trying to teach me through this experience though. Sometimes we may get the full picture and sometimes we may never know why God takes us through some situations. I guess it's a test of faith or endurance and I failed woefully. Hmmm.

One thing I now appreciate more, is the joy and blessing of having a good Christian friend around. And I have to thank you too, Believer.

On Life: Waiting

Waiting is so hard.I've been waiting for something for so long. I have prayed and fasted, yet it seems God doesn't hear me. I have waited patiently, and sometimes impatiently. Sometimes I am encouraged, and sometimes I am discouraged. Sometimes it feels like the answer is near. Sometimes it feel like the answer is far away. Sometimes I feel that God wants me to have this thing, sometimes I'm not so sure. Sometimes it's easy to smile and keep hope alive. But sometimes it's hard to stay hopeful. Sometimes I can cheer myself up, and sometimes I feel like crying.

I had been feeling discouraged. But then I remembered: God had been good to me thus far. He has been faithful to me. He has never failed me when I needed Him most. And I have no other person to turn to. I shouldn't let my problem take me away from God. I should draw nearer to God in times of trouble. Only Him can meet my deepest needs. Only Him can hear my most earnest prayer. Only Him can give me complete peace of mind.

Yes it is very hard waiting. But God can use me in that time. And develop the gift of patience in me while I wait.

Book Reading Event

Last week I attended a book reading in London and it was a book written by Halima Bashir and Damien Lewis titled Tears of the Desert. The organisers had claimed that it was one of the very rare memoirs of a woman born and raised in the conflict-torn area of Darfur in Sudan, so my curiosity was piqued. The reading was quite an eye-opener. Prior to this, I'm ashamed to say, I knew very little about the conflict in Darfur. I just read little bits of information in the newspaper and on the TV without really registering what's going on. The book goes into detail about this young woman's life, how she grew up in a small, peaceful and happy village until the conflict started and tore her community apart. After the reading there was an interview with the writers, and there were questions asked for her to explain things on a clearer level. There was also a discussion on how people in the West can help to alleviate the suffering of countless thousands of people, refugees in their own country. At the end of the event, I bought the book and I have just started reading it and it's so powerful, yet full of hope. I would urge anyone who cares about the state of the world we live in to buy the book and educate themselves. And safe to say that I prefer knowledge to ignorance of what's happening in Darfur.

Well I hope the good weather lasts, it makes such a difference. I have some fun plans for the weekend - a high school reunion and a friend's birthday party so I'm looking forward to them. In the meantime, hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

Short Story - My Dilemma

I was bored and listless at work. It was Monday morning, and I was back in the office after a lovely weekend. The office felt quite empty because three of my colleagues had taken the day off. I didn't blame them one bit. It was a lovely day, the sun was shining brightly outside and the last thing anybody wanted was to be stuck in front of a computer screen on the sixth floor in the City. I tried to concentrate on the row of figures on my spreadsheet, but it was proving too difficult. I shook my head and wished I had requested the day off too. I looked at the time in the corner of my screen and saw it was only 10.22 am meaning the day was still far from over. I sighed, looked out of my window and recalled all the fun happenings of the past weekend and that had just passed.

My good friend Titi had organised a lovely weekend for five of her closest friends to celebrate her birthday. All of us had been excited when she told us the plan, especially me. I had been having a stressful time at work in the last month. A fun weekend was exactly what I needed to chill out and shake off the stress. As soon as it was five o'clock last Friday, I had dashed out of the office, gone home to change, picked up my overnight bag and head to Titi's place. She lived in a lovely 2-bed house in a nice part of North London, with a huge kitchen and garden and she often invited us to hang out there. She’s a lucky girl, while the rest of us were still living in matchboxes and paying inflated rents to landlords, her dad had helped her with a huge deposit and she was able to buy her own place four years ago.

By the time I arrived, my friends were already waiting for me: Dolapo, Funmi, Maureen and Temmy. We were all friends from our undergraduate university days and thanks to Funmi and Titi, we remained a close-knit group. They kept us in touch with each other. After the usual round of hugs, gist swaps and a light meal, we went out to have a good time. First we saw a movie - a hot new chick-flick. Afterwards, we went clubbing and had a groovy time. I had forgotten how much fun it was to just let my hair down and dance the night away with my girls. When it was around 2am, we decided to call it a night, so we all piled into a taxi, fuelled by alcohol and excitement, talking nineteen to the dozen and laughing at the silliest thing throughout the journey back to Titi's place.

On Saturday morning, we woke up early - well if you call 10.30 am early- because Titi was having a party later that evening and she wanted to cook and get her house ready. One by one we stumbled out of bed, cleaned our teeth, washed our faces and trooped into Titi's kitchen to find something to eat for breakfast. Maureen decided she wanted oats and we all agreed with that, so she got to work preparing some. Titi brought out her list and started sharing out the tasks for the day. I offered to help with cooking the jollof rice, Funmi was doing chicken and beef the way we all loved it at her party last summer, Temmy was making salad, plantain and gizzard stew, Maureen was making puff-puff and pancakes, Titi was going to pick up her birthday cake and a few more supplies from the supermarket while Dolapo said she might make moin-moin if there was time, but she would rearrange Titi’s living room and sort out the music. Then I noticed that Titi had forgotten to plan for something.

"Titi, you forgot to mention drinks" I said, looking in her fridge for the milk. "Who is going to get them?"
She turned round and said, "Oh drinks have been taken care of"
"Where are they?" Maureen asked. "Let's put them in the fridge now so that we won't forget"
"Oh, they are not here, somebody is bringing them in the afternoon".
At that point we all looked up and turned to face her.
"Who?" five of us asked at the same time.
"Somebody, a friend of mine is bringing the drinks..." Titi said coyly.
"Who IS that?" I piped up. "Does he or she have a name?"
Titi started blushing and then she finally told us that it was a guy she had just started seeing and he was the most wonderful guy a girl could ever hope to meet. Of course we all wanted the low down on the gist of this guy.
"Hmmm, na wa o Titi" Funmi said. "When did you become under-g like this?"
"I'm not! I only just started seeing him two months ago"
"Eh, is that why you shenked me the last time I asked you to come to the new bar with me, you said you were going somewhere else?" Maureen asked.
Titi said nothing.
"See, she is guilty" Temmy said.
"You guys let's leave her for now" I said "We'll meet the guy today and deal with Titi later"
“So you won’t even give us any bit of information?” Dolapo asked.
“Alright, alright” Titi finally said. “I met him at a conference, I noticed him right away because he was the only black guy there. Throughout the conference our eyes kept meeting and afterwards, he came to say hello to me and we got talking. That’s it really”
“What’s his name?”
“His name is Dayo”
“Hmmm, and what does he do?” Maureen asked.
“He’s a lawyer too, it was a legal conference”
“Cool” Dolapo said. “So why the secrecy now?”
“Well since you guys will see him today, I might as well tell you now” Titi paused for effect. “He’s much older than me”
“How much older?” Temmy asked.
“He’s 35” Titi replied. “So he’s like eight years older than me”
“Wow!” Maureen exclaimed, almost dropping the spoon she was holding.
“I know”, Titi said, looking a bit downcast. “That’s the only problem”
“Actually I don’t see why that is a problem” Funmi said thoughtfully. “Eight years is not that bad.”
“I don’t see a problem either” I added. “When you said much older I was already assuming like fifteen years older”
Everyone laughed and Titi said “Ah! Fifteen years ke, chill abeg Lola. He doesn’t even look that old”
Maureen said, “Okay maybe it’s not so bad. At the very least he should be more mature than guys our age”
“Tell me about it” Dolapo said. “I could do with a mature guy right now”
“Yeah call him and tell him to bring his single friends along this evening” Temmy said.
“Eh Temmy!” Titi said and we all burst into laughter again. Temmy was the only one among us in a long-term relationship.

Later that afternoon, we were almost through with our cooking, Titi’s living room was set-up and she was in the bathroom blow-drying her hair having just had a shower, when the guy arrived. Temmy opened the door for him and he stepped in. We all introduced ourselves.
“Hello, nice to meet you” he said. “Titi has told me about all of you”
“Would you like something to eat or drink?” I offered.
“No thank you, I’m in a hurry” he said politely. “I just came to drop the drinks and give Titi her birthday present. I have to go somewhere but I’ll be back for the party”
He dropped a parcel on the table and turned to leave. “I’ll see you all later. Bye”
“Byeeeee” we chorused and Dolapo locked the door after him.
“Hmmm, he seemed nice” she said, as she came back into the living room.
“Yeah Titi was right, he doesn’t look that old” Funmi said.
I ran upstairs to the bathroom and could hear Titi talking on the phone. She hung up just as I popped my head around the door.
“That was Dayo” she said, looking up. “He said he’s dropped my birthday present and he’ll be back around eight”
“Great. I’m dying to know what he got you so come and open your present”
“I’ll be down shortly, or wait, come and help me with my hair to make it faster”
When we got downstairs, Titi asked, “So what did you guys think of him?”
“He is good looking” Maureen said. “And he dressed nicely”
“He seems nice and laid-back” Funmi said.
“I think he looked cool and confident, like a successful person who doesn’t need to show off”
“Yeah he’s not trying too hard” I said. “He’s comfortable with himself”
“Na wah o, all that analysis in one brief meeting!” Titi exclaimed. “But seriously, I’m glad you guys said that because that’s exactly what I see in him too”
“Then don’t let the age thing bother you” Funmi said.
“Yeah if he likes you and you like him too, just relax see what happens. You might really enjoy his company in spite of the difference in age.” Dolapo said.
“Yeah go for it babe” I said.
Titi smiled and looked relieved. “Thanks girls. I was worried you guys would think it was weird or something.”
“Not at all” Maureen said. “Now let’s go and get ready, your guests would start arriving soon”.


My office telephone rang shrilly, jolting me out of my thoughts. I looked around guiltily, hoping nobody had noticed that my mind had been far away. I picked up the call and it was my boss reminding me that we had a meeting later in the afternoon after lunch. I glanced at the time; it was now ten minutes to eleven. I hung up and decided to get my work up to scratch before lunch time. Time went quickly and before I knew it, it was one o’clock. I decided to take a break so I popped out quickly to get something to eat. I got back to my desk and remembered I wanted to check if Titi had uploaded the photos we took over the weekend. The party had been so much fun; I had danced most of the evening with a guy who had the potential to progress to boyfriend level. But first things first….

I logged on to Facebook and scrolled down the news feed. I noticed a friend had been tagged in an album so out of curiosity I clicked on the photo to check it out. She was a bridesmaid at a wedding and since I loved viewing wedding albums I clicked on. I was thinking:
".... hmmm, I like the bride’s make-up….." "Wow, her jewellery is lovely….." "Although I'm not too sure about her dress ......." when I landed on a photo that nearly made me choke on my chicken sandwich. I stared at my computer screen in shock. Was it…? Yes, the groom in the album was Dayo, the same guy that Titi was dating! My friend is getting involved with a married man! My heart sank.

Orange Prize: Winners

Rose Tremain was announced as the winner of the 2008 Orange Prize for her novel "The Road Home". It's a story of Lev, an immigrant from Eastern Europe, who travels to Britain to seek work. He is grieving the passing of his wife, while he leaves his land and everything to come to a new strange land. He wants to get a good job so that he can send money back home to support his mother and daughter.

Joanna Kavenna was awarded the Orange Broadband Award for New Writers for her book "Inglorious" which is about a character, Rosa who goes through a break down after the death of her mother. She quits her good job, her boyfriend breaks up with her and gets engaged to her friend, her debts begin to pile up and her bank is not helping matters.

I was at the readings for both awards and I actually bought the book "Inglorious" afterwards. I've started reading it and I'm intrigued to see what happens to the character as the story unfolds. I'll probably buy "The Road Home" as well because it sounds interesting. Mainly because I want to see how the writer portrayed English people through the eyes of an immigrant.

Hope you all had a great weekend and are looking forward to a wonderful week!

On Life: Our Shared Values as Nigerians

Recently in the UK, the media have been talking about the idea of teaching young people about "shared British values" such as tolerance and respect. These are the principles we have ingrained in our culture and in our attitudes. They are the values that our grandparents passed down to our parents, who passed them down to us. I thought to myself , if the British have core values that make them who they are, what are my values as a Nigerian then?

As a Nigerian living outside the country, I am very much aware that we have acquired a bad reputation in the international community. This is due to widespread corruption, fraud and 419 activities committed by many desperate Nigerians. Some of our leaders are not much better, as a few have been caught with wealth from dubious sources. But for every Nigerian criminal that commits a crime, there are thousands more out there who are decent, honest and hardworking people. There are Nigerians living, studying and working in almost every country I can think of causing no trouble. So how would our host nations describe us? What adjectives would I use to describe my fellow country folks?

For one thing, I could describe us as having pride. Most Nigerians I know are very proud of their identity. Sometimes to the extent that we are wary of non-Nigerians claiming to be from Nigeria. Most Nigerians are proud of where they come from. Whichever country we are based in abroad, we usually identify with other Nigerians we meet and we build social networks because of our common background. (Even on blogspot, we have built a strong virtual Naija community!). We are also very proud of our achievements and possessions. Whatever we have, we are proud to show it off. Wealthy and really humble Nigerians are quite rare actually. Sometimes this is good, but sometimes we use it to 'impress' or 'oppress' other people. And then we create a competitive situation. Everybody tries to 'keep up with the neighbours' because they want what the other person has.

Another value I think we have is respect. Growing up in Nigeria, one of the things hammered into my head over and over again was respect. As a child, you are taught to respect all your elders, you must greet everybody you see politely, you must not talk back to your elders, you shouldn't interrupt when an elder is speaking, etc. I used to think it was all a big bother. But now that I'm older, I see it reflects back on me if people perceive me as polite and good mannered or rude and ill-mannered. And I'm glad that I don't have to worry about it because being polite and respectful is already part of who I am.

Nigerians are also (usually) very hardworking. Most of us were brought up with the idea that failure is a disgrace, so were pushed and pushed till we succeed. Parents go all out to ensure that their children achieve their goals. And even if we fail, we don't accept it as the end. No, we must find a way to pick ourselves up and keep trying. (I used to think this was normal until I met people who gave up trying after the first hurdle, and parents who couldn't be bothered about their children's success). This leads me to the next value: we don't take no for an answer. How many Nigerians do you know that have been to the UK or US embassy 20 times? Each time they are turned away, and soon they are back there to try again. We don't give up even when the going gets tough!

I can mention a few more things common to many Nigerians that I know: we are adaptable, we take risks, we love enjoying ourselves, we are quite religious, we are optimistic, etc etc. However, there are some funny things that only Nigerians do. For example, only a Nigerian would have 6 mobile phones, why, because he just can't have one. Only a Nigerian would attempt to take a 45kg suitcase onto a plane when the luggage allowance is 32kg. Still, we are a unique group of people, as diverse as can be, but having many shared values. Yes I'm a Nigerian and I'm proud of it! If you are a Nigerian, please add your ideas of our shared values.

Orange Broadband Prize 2008

The Orange Prize celebrates excellence, originality and accessibility in international women’s writing. As we all know, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie won the prize last year and brought a lot of recognition to Nigeria and Nigerian writers. The events for 2008 are upon us and this evening, I attended the readings of the books shortlisted. This year's entries are quite different from last year's but no less interesting. I enjoyed listening to the writers reading out their work and I'm finding it hard to judge which one will go on to become the eventual winner. The shortlisted writers are as follows:

Nancy Huston - Fault Lines more

Sadie Jones - The Outcast more

Charlotte Mendelson - When We Were Bad more

Heather O’Neill - Lullabies for Little Criminals more

Rose Tremain - The Road Home more

Patricia Wood - Lottery more

For more information, visit the Orange Prize website

I plan to attend the further discussions with the authors tomorrow evening, then I'll decide which of the books I'm going to buy. Hopefully I'll pick the winner! Let me know what you think about the books and the authors.